“The world takes us to a silver screen on which flickering images of passion and romance play, and as we watch, the world says, “This is love.” God takes us to the foot of a tree on which a naked and bloodied man hangs and says, “This is love.”
― Joshua Harris
I think the biggest issue with how we approach (and even act in) relationships today is the way we view love.
In our society, love has become something that has to be earned. It’s become something that we only give after it’s first been given. It’s become something we keep score of.
And this, admittedly, used to be a predisposition of mine and it took absolute heartbreak for me to finally realize I had been living my entire life loving others the wrong way…
I was loving to get love back. It wasn’t something freely given.
And, as a matter of fact, when I DID love somebody, I expected them to be deserving of it. All the time.
But you know what I learned?
Sometimes people abuse love. Sometimes people take it for granted. Sometimes people don’t even want it.
It took me years to figure out that people don’t always deserve love, but this is the crux of what the Bible says love should be…Endless.
The truth is pretty simple… We should always love others. Even when it may not be noticed, requited, returned, or even appreciated.
THIS is selfless love.
THIS is loving people the way the Bible says to.
Love isn’t something that has to be earned.
It’s not a standard that has to be met.
It’s not about how another person makes you feel.
Love is an eternal commitment.
And yes, love is everywhere; it’s actually the focus of almost every single conversation we have. Yet, in spite of this “familiarity” with it, we have forgotten what it truly is.
We have spent our entire lives asking the wrong questions and focusing on the wrong things.
It’s not about who we should love; it’s about loving everyone.
It’s not about finding the perfect person. (There are no perfect people.)
It’s about loving people perfectly.
And (in a romantic relationship especially) it’s not a matter of whether or not someone is worthy of our love… They are worthy because we love them. Love’s not a feeling; it’s a commandment from God.
“Let me give you a new command: Love one another. In the same way I loved you, you love one another. This is how everyone will recognize that you are my disciples—when they see the love you have for each other.” – John 13:34
The cross tells us everything we need to know about love. He died for us, when we were yet sinners. We were not worthy, but through His grace we have been made clean.
His love wasn’t dependent on us. (Thank goodness.) So why do we continue to make love out to be something another person has to be good enough for?
Our definition of love is seriously missing something. I daresay that even the way we claim to love others can be blasphemous to God.
So, with all of that said, the past few days I have been thinking about the love I give others and if it really is measuring up to everything the Bible says it should be. So this morning I reread 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 which said:
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
So there it is folks! That’s the Biblical view of love! And these few verses are a great way to seriously evaluate how we love others.
Here are the questions I evaluated myself with this morning:
1.) Is my love patient? (Or do I want what I want right now…Do I give others a time limit?)
2.) Is my love kind? (Or do I use it as a way to get what I want?)
3.) Is my love envious? (Do I do things out of humility or to one up other people?)
4.) Is my love boastful? ( Am I more focused on myself and what I can offer, than the other person and what they need?)
5.) Is my love rude or self-seeking? (Am I solely focused on what I can get out of it?)
6.) Is my love easily angered? (Does it require the other person to be my definition of perfect?)
7.) Does my love keep score? (And if I do keep score, when the other person doesn’t meet that number do I give up?)
Love is so much more than we think it is, yet so much simpler than we like to admit.
So, now take a minute and be honest with yourself. Is your love demanding? Or boundless?
Does it require a standard? Or is it freely given?
-Brittney
thinking out loud 